For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
