Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
