During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
