I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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