Don't you send me to vm
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
