508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
