I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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