Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
