that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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