Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
