oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
