Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
