Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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