Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
