I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
