i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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