The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
