I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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