just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
