Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
