No subtext here. People are naked.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
