I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
