Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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