so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
