LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
