Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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