Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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