I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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