He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
