im six kinds of drunk right now
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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