haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
