The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
