girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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