we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
