Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
