I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
