you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
And the cops told us we were all naked.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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