I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
