thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
