She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
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