I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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