CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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