Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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