listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
