just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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