and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Randomize
