Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
