yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
