I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
