Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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